I was hoping at least one nights sleep would get my larynx back to 100% but I must’ve really abused it when I was singing all those heavy rock songs from bands like System of A Down, Soundgarden, Tool and Alice in Chains yesterday. 

It was a lot of fun though but I think it’s best I sing in my head voice for now. 

At the time of writing this, the digits were just about to strike 6am after a visit to Maldives to play with Pookie and ask family for more financial support. 

I was not surprised when I was told that I could do with improving my budgeting and financial planning....and to be honest, when it comes to planning in general...I'm not good at it at all. And that was the first of 3 constructive criticisms that i would receive for the rest of the day. 

I don't know how to react to any kind of criticism, so I adopted that negative energy for the rest of the day making it a rather uncomfortable one and if it wasn't for Rachael coming over later, I wouldv'e continued drowning in my own self inflicted misery but then...I reminded myself about when my mum survived through not just one but TWO breast cancer operations and how strong she was whilst going through the ordeal. 

i know what happens to me because of my autistic traits and because of I'm an empath, I very often become a victim of my own untamed feelings and emotions.

I've come to realise I have been too money driven and NOT your typical Buddhist role model...but alas, this is part of the journey to become aware of your own actions and that's another reason why I write these show others that I too, slip into what may seem like darkness at first ....but it's just the voices of our dark spirits who appear in the light of day as little children and want to guide us back into the dark. 

As a bonus, that one night’s sleep helped me to think about what to do during this second lockdown which is already half way done so not much longer to go now! 

Live streaming....movies....the band’s debut album....that’s it! Nothing too strenuous. 

Actually, I’ve been thinking that it IS possible to use Facebook as a full time thing so....why not?! 

The amount of followers and associates and connections that I have met on there have risen by 200% compared to when I wasn’t using it at all and switching my phone off whilst sleeping, has helped my mental health to stay slightly more stable....'s easy to become a mental slave to anything ....


so what was that about plans and goals again? 

Stay focussed grasshopper! 

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