I strongly assume I’m feeling slightly mouldy today just because I’m still recovering from Thursday night. I’m a lightweight drinker… As well as a toker which is a good thing in a rather cheap way. 

Just because this is a memoir, I should try to encourage myself not to hold back with whatever I am thinking and whoever it is about. It’s all about the therapy and encouraging myself to be mindful and aware about the environment around me…. And if it helps others, even better! 

“I see you regularly asking for help with your music “ said an associate of mine via Facebook messenger earlier this morning and of course, I instantly assumed they were criticising me and I am glad I didn’t respond negatively and as it turns out...they were actually Giving me a compliment! 

Despite that it didn’t work out with them being my manager, I’m very happy that we are still in touch as and when. 

However, that statement got me over analysing about my music career again especially that dangerous thought of comparing myself to other artists and not knowing which direction I want to take my falsetto voice and keyboard playing. 

Maybe I’ve just answered my own question... Again. 

Maybe it’s time to just go back to basics as I did when it was just my acoustic guitar and me in 2001. 10 years on, this makes so much sense now. I’ve always wanted to know how to play keyboard and piano and now I can because my heart and soul are still captivated by its sounds plus I don’t have to Pfaff about tuning the keys and the keys don’t break either! 

I am aware now that if I have too much going on, people won’t be able to hear what I’m singing. Let’s see if I can record an album with just my vocals, Racheal’s vocals and keys! 

That’s it! 


The kitty’s got her hat on! 





What makes even more sense now that I’ve tried at least four ideas already for my Black Lives Matter and George Floyd tribute song ‘Thankyou George Floyd’ and none of them worked. 

Okay, maybe four is over exaggerating! I do know I tried a full band vibe version at the dance version but they both took away that soul that was in the song when I first wrote it on keyboard and guitar. I even tried a trip hop version before evolving it into the failed dance version but hey, at least I’m still willing to experiment. 

Let’s face it... until today, I was wishing that I could produce a trip hop song, A dance song, a trance song and a whatever song but to be honest…. I like the knowledge and it’s time to admit that I’m not ready for that so is time to go back to the basics again... as I’ve mentioned already. 

I know that there are producers out there now especially on Facebook who may be willing to turn my songs into my dream sound but whilst I keep looking... Let me reiterate, it’s time to go back to basics. 

I mean... 

I can’t stand the sound of a click track anyway! 

It’s now 18:41 at the time of writing this. I made yet another post crying out for help asking it anybody would be willing to tell me what to do with my music day by day and connecting with those people really helped to get my feet back on the ground again! 

I don’t know how many times I need to reiterate this but despite the fact that it has affected other artists and creative people drastically, I still try my best not to blame Covid 19 but where have I and who have I been throwing that blame at? Obviously, myself! 

Everything feels like a catch 22 at the moment I suppose...

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