ASCENSION OF THE ETHEREAL #313

Seeing as I’m feeling rough and hungover, I am in the mood for deeming all takeaway food as evil today even though I don’t actually believe in evil. 

Funny... isn’t it?! .... 

....How half a pizza made me feel nauseous and rundown last night all because I wanted to make even more of an effort to be more sociable with The Kid. 

Yes... At 3 am…it didn’t want to stay down…. So and had to go up and into the traditional waste bucket. 

It’s a good thing that there is a ‘flush’ option. 

I tried to give The Kid a compliment last night in regards to her dancing with ‘Mary Jane’ again to make her feel better and that I assumed she goes back to feeling really low again when she tries to give up the weed.... but it all backfired earlier this morning in the form of another misunderstanding and I’m currently mentally paying for it again. 

At least I have learnt valuable lessons in the past how many hours and this also inspired me to write a rap for another one of my upgraded songs about being autistic called... 

Cotton Clouds of Thoughts & Dreams! 

I must try to encourage myself to share my lyrics more with the world so here goes: 

instrumental x 2 

*CHORUS - 

Cotton clouds of thoughts and dreams 

Swirling round gathering 

Cotton clouds of thoughts and dreams 

Make no sound gathering 

Instrumental x 1 

*x1 

VERSE: 

Let me stay 

Help me to take it all away 

Echoes glide and sway 

Words can’t hurt 

so all they can do is play 

instrumental x 1 

CHORUS x 2 

Inst x 1 

RAP 

Counting all my blessings everyday 

But yet I still find myself standing in my way 

Maybe I’m over thinking 

Maybe my head’s just spinnin’ 

Cos the words coming out my mouth 

Ain’t 

what I wanna say 

I don’t believe it’s way too late for changes 

So fuckin’ what if others think I’m brainless 

I gotta be courageous, turn my skin into metal 

Cos however hard I try..... 

I just can’t read your plasticine faces 

*x 2 

*x 2 

(Make no sound) 

Gathering 

(Cotton clouds of thoughts and dreams) x 4 

There ya go! 

Am I proud of what I’ve written? 

Of course I am! 

I’ve technically been writing this since 2005 and it sure needed an upgrade. Sadly, I NEVER got to perform it live with The Subwave Network UK but I have no regrets ....because the future is only 1 second away! 

Anyways.... back to our regular program! 

There shall be NO takeaway or food after 7 pm as usual because it messes with my thyroid and a little friend of mine called Guilty Conscience! 

And..... if I can’t express something personal verbally and clearly.... which is usually in the form of a question, just DON’T do it! 

Another thing I have presumed from this is why I was also scared to talk to genetic girls at school. 

The term that I would like to use here is a term that I learnt recently and THAT is the word ‘masking’. 

How apt for these times! 

According to the conclusions to the research I found, ‘masking’ is not really a good idea but in regards to living with ‘The Kid’ and well....anybody else in the future .... this is now something that I’m thinking about adopting. 

Perhaps she does it and that’s why she is able to come across the way she does! 

We tried being sociable with each other for about a week and that was going well. I like to believe that it still is. 

She reminded me not to overthink about things and take things so literally… But here I am. 

There’s only one thing to do about this! 

Go and have a refreshing shower! 

“Does anybody need the bathroom?” was my icebreaker of sharing my own struggles of today with her and Flatmate B and with a combination of that and herbal capsules, I already felt better mentally. 

As for the physical side... I’m still feeling hungry and nauseous but just as I thought yesterday…… the pain in my leg has gone. 

Maybe I should try fasting again just to reset my biological computer? 

I eventually had a hunch that I could be feeling this crap because of the second jab so I checked out the side effects on the information leaflet that was provided at the clinic to find the answers that I was looking for the whole morning and afternoon. 

Leo still came over and I’d like to feel comfortable with the illusion that we tried to rehearse whenever I wasn’t recording a new song whilst he was either doing his exercises or playing his own songs in the backyard! 

Let’s give this another shot tomorrow!

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