Until my back literally started giving me pain which I hope is temporary AND will go by the time I have gotten out of the house, I was feeling refreshed this morning. 

Perhaps the really big carrot that I was grazing on to bless some time to write might be all I needed. 

Despite the weather forecast telling me there’s about 30% chance of chance of rain today plus the definite challenge of strong winds as I found out when I took out some trash AND that it’s to be another hard graft in New Milton today whether I do covers or originals....I was still looking forward to it. 

IF my back was still hurting by the time of leaving, my back up plan would be to wait until my bank is open, put Tuesday’s earnings in then either hook up with Ian and Lorna depending on whether Ian confirms if we were going to meet up again today or not! 

Around 10 to the nearest hour, I took a walk outside .....strong wind and drizzle ....I made it about 20 steps away from my door and thought to myself ...THIS is NOT worth it! So I decided to stay at home until the banks open instead. 

Even though I rightfully chose not to busk in this weather today, I still had to get out of the flat! 

Did you know that The Amazon is apparently man made? Well, according to Graham Hancock, it is! 

Yup.....because I’m now listening to another podcast of Joe Rogan and him at the time of writing this at 19:50. My flat mate Yogi is watching it on his phone and they’re always educational and intriguing. 

I’m still feeling half asleep from living the traditional eat and sleep Thai lifestyle made famous by my own relatives just like the good old days. 

I may as well do some writing before my iPad is fully charged and I can then watch another B- movie and despite asking and receiving financial support today from my step dad...I am currently deciding whether or not to go busking in another rainy and windy day tomorrow. 

I know for sure that New Milton would not have been worth it especially with the combination of traffic passing by but when I saw Marta busking during today’s regular Thursday market in Boscombe....I reckon tomorrow in Boscombe could be doable. 

On that note.....Boscombe is where I dragged my living corpse to today instead of busking with the main focus of window shopping mainly at charity shops seeking a replacement zipped purse like the one I had before to put my busking money in in the near future but I had no success but it seems the universe lightened up my spirits when I gave up the window shopping and looking for a purse and made my way into Sainsbury’s supermarket and my eyes literally lit up like an extra terrestrial seeing Planet Earth for the first time when I was randomly introduced to 2 separate multi packs of vegan cheese varieties one which includes vegan blue cheese which is what I have been manifesting for some time now! 

Anyways, it’s such a blessing how much the vegan movement has exploded since I made my first attempt at becoming vegan (or was it vegetarian?) in the summer of 2015 just before my genital (NOT gender as I have believed I already female for such a long time before that!) reassignment surgery... 

I was losing a lot of blood from it and I am very grateful for the animals who unwillingly gave their lives to me so that I can live another day.....but I am definitely staying vegan for as long as I can now! 

Anyways, back to the recent past....I arrived back to a not so quiet home as my future sister in law’s dad and my bro are busy working their arses off upstairs so that it’s livable as and they of course can start the foundations of their own little family! 

So how does this all make me feel? 

Well, I don’t seem to feel much about this kind of thing these days since I have chosen the single life and that I struggle with reality anyways. 

I’m happy being celibate for now and living with family but i didn’t feel this way before but at least I tried living with others and at least I tried being in relationships but me and that life are simply just not compatible. 

Anyways, think it’s time I go and watch another movie to simmer down and then decide what I am doing tomorrow....

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