“May I have tomorrow in Boscombe please?” asks yours truly to fellow busker and sax player Marta via WhatsApp after checking tomorrow’s weather. 

I needed some kind of spiritual kick up the arse after waking up early and constantly overanalysing about how to start making a plan for my music career during the pandemic and even as I wrote made me cringe all over for some reason! 

I was feeling stressed out about all that I had expressed in yesterday’s memoir that at around 5am, I got out of bed....walked over to my wardrobe ....put on my maid outfit and PVC panties and masturbated to a photo on Google to a man wearing a sissy maid outfit. 

Now, before I had the op....I masturbated a lot more than I do nowadays. 

It seemed as if I was either constantly horny or just stressed and frustrated. 

Becoming a truly happy person inside and out definitely got rid of a lot of those desires to 0121DO1 not just in the morning but in any discreet place and time and thank fudge...I never did it in public. 

On the other hand, I definitely prefer doing it post op than pre op because it’s NOT messy at all! 

After taking out my frustration on the downstairs department, I then came to my senses about what to do next and thus, contacted my acting managers who’s names have been withheld as it’s been a while since we last connected. 

I messaged them via Facebook telling them that I would be willing to pay them £25 if they could help me devise a plan for my music career. 

Whether or not they will reply is another story for another day and if I analyse it too much, it’ll just ruin what seems to be like another sunny day happening in good old Milford on Sea with Lorna of the Heath and Ian of The Gray Valleys made of Second Hand Kilts and Garters. 

Fortunately, my acting managers DID respond at the time of writing this and just like me....they couldn’t really give me an answer apart from ....JUST...WING....IT. 

Hmm, I suppose that makes sense but I am not satisfied with that because that’s what I have been doing my whole life. 

I remember when it was compulsory for all teachers including myself to make up lesson plans back in Thailand and make a copy to submit to the head teacher for every day. 

Having one actually helped me to teach and execute the lesson a lot easier and there was even a section I had to write in called ‘Anticipating Problems’ and that was probably my favourite section! 

Maybe I should try and find lesson plan templates off of Google and draw one out instead of masturbating in my PVC sissy maid outfit in the morning? 

So many choices! 

So little time! 

Or maybe not? 

I used to love asking myself questions but I’ve now found a lot of answers to them and ALOT quicker too but because I can’t stop thinking about what happened on Wednesday with my brother and Magé from Citizens Advice Bureau....there is currently a stormy sea raging through the neurotic waves Of my mind and there on a little dingy in the middle of the ocean is my sanity and hope wishing to try and somehow make it back to SOME shore..... 

Until then .....I’d better get ready for the day...and perhaps do some live streaming before Ian comes over and as it’s a Sunday in Milford on Sea....there’s no need for my phone or Facebook! 

I must try to join in more with their conversations and not sit there like a vegetable. 

I’m not pissed off with myself ....I’m just trying to be someone else for 5 minutes at least and switch my mind off!

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