ASCENSION OF THE ETHEREAL #84

Despite waking up around midnight, 2am and then 5am, I finally woke up in my PVC outfit around 7ish. Do I need to mention how obsessed I am with it? 

I stripped down just to check my weight but alas, as I was too busy putting on layers afterwards to stay both warm and appropriate AND experimenting with what works and what doesn’t, I couldn’t make the time to put on my make up but as it was a sunny day today, my shades covered up my eyes anyways. 

So whilst I was experimenting with my clothes, I asked myself ... 

Can I wear my PVC dress for winter busking? 

What jacket would go well with it? The faux fur ‘gorilla’ one? Or the black faux fur one? 

How warm would it be? Will I get too hot? Will I feel cold? 

In the end, I just focussed on getting out of the house on time... 

On the other hand, I had bathroom issues with having loads of clothing on so once I had finished, I had to pull everything down completely and put on each layer separately. At least I gave myself enough time to do so before leaving and as I left the bathroom, I was surprised to see Greta returning from her swim at the beach as she literally walked through the door with her closest friend ...her bike. 

I was actually tempted to ask her what time she usually goes in the morning so that I may join her but sadly, I don’t own a wetsuit yet. 

Literally after she arrived, I grabbed my heavy hitchhiking bag with all my gear AND Bisoux and headed to the train station and as usual there when my anxiety and paranoia begins especially as I got down to the platform where there were loads of students making their daily way to Brockenhurst College. 

However, not a single person even looked, stared or giggled this time so today was safe regarding living in the present and not in the past. 

But why wear what I wear? Why don’t I just try and blend it like all the other women and especially trans women? 

Well, my intention is to stand out most of all as a proud extrovert. 

Perhaps they also call this punk rock? 

I for one ...don’t believe that THAT culture is dead! 

And on a deeper note, I can’t express things verbally so I may as well express myself with my image from time to time... 

If someone was to ask me why I dress the way I do as a sissy maid I would very likely answer that I have always felt like a slave or a servant to a society that even I helped to create and because it’s too fast to keep up, that’s perhaps why we as spiritual beings suffer with mental issues. 

Murphy’s Law randomly knocked at the entrance of my temple when I thought I was safe waiting behind a gentleman who worked for South Western Railways and then he told me off and got sarcastic with me for not being socially distant enough behind him before he got passive assertive with a bike rider who was trying to find a train door to get his bike into before the train left the platform. Bless him! 

Let me remind you that some people take this pandemic a LOT more seriously than others. 

As I got closer and closer to my temporary destination, I was tempted to buy a carton of raspberries as that’s what I am so used to having in the morning and I was feeling rather peckish but then I was feeling eager to get to the usual spot, take my winter coat off and roll up my sleeves and feel that cold because I was sweating like a pigeon! 

However, as I sat down in my camping chair that’s falling apart...it didn’t even take 5 mins before I started feeling the cold again. 

Not long after sitting down and beginning to set up, my Thai friend Banyen must’ve heard me on the guitar as she was either walking to work or back home and as she looked back at me wearing my outfit she said “so beautiful” and of course I replied back and instantly sent her a friend request on Facebook so that we can catch up! 

Nice compliments about my dress followed from all ages but it seems that the increasing volume levels from the loop pedal was getting more frowns than smiles especially as Christchurch had more senior citizens than New Milton it seems. 

Oh well.... 

And just to make things slightly worse and lower my confidence even more....a customer walked over from the other side and asked me to turn the volume down which included some very brief banter about me with another citizen when they must’ve asked her what she said to me. 

It lowered my confidence so much I became afraid to go out of my comfort zone and sing like a bird! 

However, the main highlight was when I was playing ‘What’s Up’ by 4 Non Blondes and as a I looked up, there was a scrawny looking man dressed in a casual top, shorts and a thick winter scarf dancing to the music which instantly reminded me of the viral videos I had seen of other people that had done that to buskers and made it in the news headlines. 

Afterwards, people applauded him. 

I confess that I do wonder what the point is of me being the best as I can as a performer and it’s very seldom that I get an applause from someone. 

Oh well....never mind. Do it for me!!! No one else! 

Anyways, seeing that gentleman just proves that we mustn’t be afraid to stand out from the crowd and as Seal wrote ‘We’re never ever going to survive unless we get a little crazy’ 

After packing up after a 2 hours busk whilst having a quick chat with Rachael on the phone, I made my way back to the station via Waitrose to buy raspberries and then an off license to get more snacks to eat whilst waiting for the train. 

I got back home as usual feeling knackered from not just the heavy gear but all the layers of clothes I was wearing especially the corset, the hip enhancers and the PVC leggings that I just couldn’t completely pull up whatever happened. 

I stripped off and got straight into my red bohemian strappy camisole and flared jeans and made a quick decision to just stuff myself with vegan plant based protein straight from the oven with way too much vegan blue cheese sauce. 

I then told myself.... 

“This is NOT healthy and I am bored of eating like this without the vegetables!” 

Whilst I was thoroughly cleaning the remains of my deeply fried crispy protein as well that of the others, the heavy rain that was forecast via my BBC Weather finally arrived and disappeared again before I was all packed with my recording gear and ready to go back out again. 

Just so that I was making sure that I get all the exposure I can as an artist AND keep up with my Facebook friends and vice versa, I invited all 200+ of them to the live streaming group before heading out. 

I’m glad I decided to dress casually for recording and before I had put my food shopping in the bag, it wasn’t too heavy and was bearable enough to carry. 

With 30 mins to spare before the recording session, I set my eyes upon Flirt Cafe and Starbucks and as I remembered they do vegan stuff without vegan whipped cream, I popped into Mad Cucumber instead for a tasty peanut butter and chocolate milkshake! 

I’ve been interested in joining other vegans with animal activism and I saw loads of leaflets related to this on their tables but for some reason, I felt hesitant to sign up! 

Maybe I just need to take things slowly first! 

I then continued my journey across the road to buy much needed groceries from Tesco’s Express. 

I tried to be ketogenically aware of my diet so instead of buying grapes I bought strawberries instead as they have lower carbs and natural sugar. Apparently. 

As I made my way out of Tesco’s over to the studio, I had noticed a missed call from Ian as he regarding me asking him if he could take me back to Tesco’s to sort out my new phone. 

We carried on talking despite my exhausting walk carrying the recording gear up for the short hill to the studio. 

I’m that owner and co-founder Dan had texted me the code to get in as it was so cold. 

Deej originally said that he’s going to be 30 mins late but fortunately turned up same time and with Ian still on the phone, it was nice to share a little ketchup. 

It was fun teaching myself how to record the drums with Deej sharing his knowledge. 

I tried my best to not get too distracted by Facebook and my phone just in case he needed my help. 

I’m definitely not keen for recording people professionally. 

I’d rather do it this way with no pressure and with someone who that I know. 

We listened and mixed the song together. 

I could tell how positively overwhelmed he was by it when he said he could hear more parts of the song than when listening on his phone. Obviously 

After packing up, we had time to discuss what we can and can’t do during the pandemic as a band. 

I was telling Deej about how sometimes I feel like losing faith in the music during the pandemic and he said that’s exactly what the pandemic is trying to do so the malt important thing is to keep going and by doing so, we stand out. 

He’s also quite the entrepreneur and we hope to meet up every Wednesday like before at a cafe and discuss ideas how we can make an impact in the local area. 

Getting the bus home was a hoot as didn’t have to wait longer than 5 mins in the cold dark unpredictable night. 

Am currently scared to be anywhere alone at night due to the small crimes that have risen since this pandemic has begun. 

All in all, another good day! Shame about the earnings though and I am so happy to have finally receive a bio from Rachael so I can announce her band membership welcome officially! 

EARNINGS: £11.79

Leave a comment

Add comment