“Hi Yui! I'm Jennifer and I know your brother. I'm writing to you because a friend of mine who works in a company is looking for a Thai translator as they are going to open a company in Thailand. Would you be interested?” 

It may have taken me a while to realise that she’s the half Thai lady that I met nearly 2 years ago in my very own flat due to one of the flat mates who used to love here. 

I haven’t met any other half Thai’s who are fluent in the language off line but at least there’s a Facebook group community that I am proud to be a member of. 

Of course. I accepted. All I have to do now is to wait for her friend to call me. 

This triggered my mind to remember that I had actually applied and succeeded in getting a translator job with Bostico International in 2012 when I first moved to Bournemouth but just like with the waitressing job at the Thai restaurant in Salisbury....I wasn’t ‘needed’. 

There simply was no work for me so when the young lady messaged me this morning, I felt as though the flame inside my heart had been rekindled again. 

However, at the same time .....a gentleman by the name of Glynn got in touch with me via Facebook. 

I swear I could read the sleaze in his eyes just from the photo. He asked about the transformation and he wasn’t satisfied with just one photo of me. 

He complimented how good I look which was nice of him but me being me....I started reading in between the lines. He joked that we could meet on a date next week but I didn’t find that very funny. He even tried inviting himself over to mine! 

Apparently we used to be friends when I put guitar strings on his guitar but I don’t remember. I vaguely remembered him from his photo. 

I didn’t even like his first words ..:”Hi, remember me?” 

My social anxiety either protected me or pushed him away. I got very confused and VERY emotional. 

Apart from Leo, Ian and my flatmates ....I really can’t ....and I suppose ...won’t ...let anther man into my life because I have come to the conclusion and comfortable perception that they all want to take advantage of me as their new ‘sex toy’. 

In this present moment ...I am comfortable pushing anyone away who makes me feel uncomfortable and that’s the whole idea of having an inner voice and spirit guides from time to time. 

I confess....I am still finding myself as a woman ....still trying to remind myself that I am not a gay man ....still trying to remind myself to bite my tongue every time someone mistakes me to be a man or refers to me as one. 

I’m still thinking of saving up money and moving to live in Thailand because I know I will feel more comfortable there and be more accepted (even by myself). 

I am still lost. 

I am still confused. 

Hence why I must keep travelling and busking on the streets. 

I needed to talk to another female instantly after that experience and I was fortunate that my flat mate was around (whether she was dancing with Mary Jane or not) to remind me that I did the right thing by listening to my heart. 

On the other hand, Sundays are for gatherings with close friends at Lorna’s and either jamming or playing word association with light dinner and herbal tea or coffee interludes in between so that helped me to heal myself from this morning. 

It’s now 22:21 and I’ve only been back home for 20 minutes. 

Time to call it another blessed day despite how overwhelming it started off.

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