“-4 celcius” is what today’s BBC Weather report told me as I quickly transitioned from my astral projection outfit into my regular busking uniform of thick jeans, thermals and the usual gear for winter to head over to Dorchester. 

I can’t remember if I have mentioned this yet or not but there’s something that’s been on my mind and that is that I once again have begun thinking about moving out of where I live. 

My ideal place would be in Southampton or London but as I have commitments here in Bournemouth...I might as well stay here. 

I already know that Branksome wasn’t and isn’t for me because I was in a place where I didn’t have easy access to transport. 

Salisbury was similar. 

Anyways, after a thorough conversation with Lorna and Ian about this last night ....I can now store this idea in the back of my mind BUT I DID message my acting support worker this morning to get the feelers out there and see if she can help me. 

I’ve got another headache this morning from the strong winds but I’m armed with ibuprofen capsules just in case it gets worse which I strongly doubt. 

With 5-10 minutes to go before I get on the bus to Blandford (seeing as my fave driver Nick is already here) ....all I can think about is the eagerness of not having to wear my thermal undergarments any more because when they undies want to follow as well. 

A bunch of insubordinates I tell thee. 

I have tried wearing ‘butt’ and hip pads before but my undies STILL tend to slip....maybe my undies just aren’t small enough....unless my arse keeps shrinking the older I get. 

Yes...I confess I have cellulites but that’s the least of my worries. 

Instead of today’s highlights I would like to mention today’s sightings! 

I saw 3 adult female deer grazing on grass in a field before seeing a brown sheep with a raven on their back and then on my way to Dorchester ....several cute lambs (or is that lamb?) well as pheasants, 3 horses lying down in a field all together as a group, 2 egrets, swans and Canada geese... a mozzie (mosquito) and a fly on the bus! 

The sun may be out, but this face mask is sure handy for when I am waiting for the bus in the freezing shade! Come on summer ....get yaself sorted! 

On that note, it seems I have been spending more than earning so I’ve decided I am going to have to take a break from busking again next week so that I don’t spend any more money and go overdrawn! 

I’ve had a combination of experiences with people who are dependent on alcohol and fortunately, today’s experience was a positive one. 

It’s now 12:48 and the bus back to Blandford should be here any minute and hopefully THEN ....I will be able to make the time to have lunch on there and reflect. 

At least I can do some writing whilst I was waiting for it to arrive despite my fingers being freezing cold and in regards to that ....I wouldn’t have been able to play as long as I did if I had busked with my guitar instead of fold up keyboard today. 

It started off like any other Tuesday morning here. 

People walking past. 

Feeling like I was being ignored. 

I even tried visualising myself and I watching and cheering me on from the other side of the arcade but that wasn’t working. 

(Wow! I am actually seeing snow falling from the skies as I got on the bus and I thought it was rain at first!) 

Then I thought about American performance artist/street clown Matthew Silver who never does it ‘for the money’ and only for the art and making people smile. 

At that moment, I pulled my rucksack with some ‘shrapnel’ and my business cards on me closer to the feet of my chair...put my power bank on top and went back to playing my songs and that’s when I began putting more emphasis in my singing and being more expressionate. 

This attracted a homeless 39 year old lady and she asked me if it’s ok for her to sit next to me before unexpectedly for me ....her partner then joined in. 

They offered if I wanted to drink alcohol and smoke rollies with them but I replied: 

“Nah. I’m straight-edge” 

...a term I learnt from my days as a skate punk rocker back in the 90s and a term that I really wanted to be associated with when I realised that Mary Jane, rollies and alcohol weren’t really improving my mental and physical health. 

She encouraged me to continue despite talking to me whilst I was singing. 

Her boyfriend tried to sing a long whilst I was singing and I could’ve packed up and walked off...but I decided to stay. 

They weren’t nasty or rude to me. They weren’t transphobic and the lady always referred me to me as ‘she’ and ‘her’ which was VERY respectful of her. 

She bragged about having been in court for something a few days ago and how the judge ran down the corridor after her after the hearing and gave her a fiver. 

I say ‘bragged’ because she told a lady she knows as she stopped by to talk to her. 

Anyways, they were both harmless but I knew that I shouldn’t let my defences down. 

We even ‘wrote a song’ together and the boyfriend sang ‘Stand By Me’, ‘Ain’t No Sunshine’ and his fave ‘Three Little Birds’ whilst all I had to do was play the keyboard! 

As I was packing up....they mentioned that they’ve got kids whom they haven’t seen for a while and that the lady has been homeless since she was 14. 

Their company really was the highlight of my day and I am proud of myself that I opened up my mind and listened to the lives of other people who are not as fortunate as I am. 

It’s debatable though as she seemed quite keen on stealing other people’s things or at least making a joke out of it but I have learnt from Thai movies and other things that this is merely just....‘street life’. 

There are no rules on the streets. 

When you’re poor’ve really got to fend for your own and your self. 

Animal instincts. 

After all...”life is too short” as we both agreed. Apparently, that’s also her favourite saying. 

Part of me sympathised with her. Part of me didn’t but seeing as I try to treat everybody as equal....I gave them both a hug before we split ways. 

I’m pretty sure I will see them again. 

It’s now 13:52 and I swear there’s still particles of light snow falling from the skies as I sit here on the Poole bus from Blandford. Fortunately, it arrived 2 minutes after I got to the bus stop! 

I’m really looking forward to being back home and I WAS going to say that it would be nice to be warm too but my heater is still with my bro somewhere! 

At least I have either my winter coat or/and under my duvet. 

It’s only just dawned on me again that not long ago ....I used to think I have chosen some of the most difficult parts in life .....being ‘out’ as a trans girl and someone who is autistic, being a musician and recently....being vegan. 

From today onwards’s time to change that mindset. 

I have chosen a guilt free and compassionate path for all living beings and myself in my pursuit of true happiness. 


Leave a comment

Add comment