I needed to meditate today even if it was only five minutes and bask in the sun briefly because I was feeling uptight, restless and paranoid earlier. 

When I get like that, it starts affecting The Kid…then Flatmate B then Flatmate C. 

I had to do something about it now before that seed grows. 

I wouldn’t call it spiritual abortion because that’s too dark and intense but I suppose spiritual cleansing would be the better term. 

Going to my local co-op and getting some fresh air and exercise wasn’t enough it seemed. 

At least with meditation…. the focus on just a deep inhaling, exhaling helped me to pinpoint the two main factors that triggered me to start feeling the above. 

Closing my eyes, chanting what I can remember off the top of my head from what I have learnt as a practising Theravedan Buddhist and slowing right down….really helped me to begin with. 

Perhaps it is my destiny to run Buddhist workshops at Obsidian but where and how would I start? 

From what I have experienced here in England, every individual has a different approach to meditation and if I was to teach others my knowledge I would most likely do it from what I learnt over the years from a Thai perspective and I would very likely have to get English translations of the Pali Canon. 

The good thing is... Is that I already have that and kept that from one of my visits to Thailand. 

So, the only thing that’s truly stopping me from running Buddhist workshops…. is my own mind. 

And who needs to travel far to a temple when you can visualise one in your very own heart? 

So, what were the two factors that ‘made’ me feel so low you may wonder? 

It certainly wasn’t the good news I received from my mum this morning that my stepdad and her will be returning home to visit to us end of November then it’s back to Singapore end of January….. 

It certainly wasn’t the juicy plant-based steaks I had this afternoon with leftover salad after watching Peter Rabbit 2…. 

So what was it then? 

I met Nancy….well, before she was Nancy…. 

during the time I was rocking out with the boys from The Subwave Network UK and she was our sound engineer at one of our local gigs... but we only became Close friends when she was willing to help me record my first E.P ‘Distilled Pleasures’ and from that…. we got to know each other better. 

Oh yeah... There was also the open mic nights in Downton at The Bull…2-3 decades after I had had my first pint there when I turned 18! 

…. And then the pandemic befell upon us all and out of all the people I know… self isolation and the lockdown affected her... especially her long term health conditions the most. 

We lost touch…. Until last night I meeting one have a recent posts really upset me because I get the impression that she has given up on life. 

However, we had a good catch up later today and it’s nice to know that she has moved to a new place and is still with her girlfriend amongst other good news! 

The other factor is some people’s naivety to how animals in farms are being treated as well as beagles that have been bred to be experimented on! 

This is another reason why I am Buddhist and yet even more baffling ….is knowing that other Buddhists especially in Thailand ….aren’t vegan. 

I hope and pray that there are others out there who have ‘woken up’ to the truth just like I have!

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